There are two types of jealousy...legitimate and illegitimate. Legitimate jealousy would be if your spouse cheats on you, your love for your spouse causes legitimate jealousy. It's jealousy out of love. Illegitimate is when you covet something of someone elses. The devotion said that many times anger comes out of illegitimate jealousy.
It cited several different examples of illegitimate jealousy. It talked about wanted something someone got, or not being happy for someone because they got a promotion which put them higher than you. Another example was about a husband golfing and about a wife getting invited to go out a lot by her friends. You get jealous of the others that get to spend time with your spouse.
I know that that kind of jealousy would hit home to a lot of southern wives. A lot of husbands spend their weekends out hunting or fishing, and I know some of them feel neglected and jealous...and I also know that bad feelings sprout from that.
I love spending time with my husband. But I want him to be as happy as he can be. When he still lived in Washington, I INSISTED that he go out with his friends because I knew they made him happy. BUT, he chose me sometimes. He knew it made ME happy for us to "spend time together" even if it was over the phone. There has to be a balance. But there can't be a balance unless you express to your spouse that the scales are tilting in one direction or the other...and even then your spouse has to understand.
Our dare was to take the list of negative qualities and burn it discreetly. Well, we're doing this together so it wasn't discreet. We folded up our lists so the other couldn't see what was on them and burned them in the sink then washed the residue down the drain.
It was a very powerful exercise. It was meant to put all of the focus on the positive aspects of your spouse, and I can see that it will work. If you burn them and they don't exist...you have nothing to think of but the positive. And if I spend my time thinking of the positive, then the next time he forgets something at the store, maybe I won't go to the Depreciation room. We also had to congratulate our spouse on a success.
And let me tell you...
The job my husband has is not easy. I could not stay and work there, but he did because he had to. And he has made the best out of a sometimes bad situation and he has FLOURISHED! He's so creative and talented and only gets better at his job every day and I can't tell you how proud I am of him!!
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